Secret Ingredient Pumpkin Nut Muffins (GF, DF, Sugar free and ridiculously healthy)

Today, I'm rocking this anti-candida diet!

Okay, that's a lie.  I HATE the anti-candida diet.  I'm only supposed to be on the strict diet for 2 weeks, then "we'll see" but I have yet to make a successful 3 days in a row.  And that's WITH stretching the definition of "strict."  (Sometimes its better not to ask).  I've found if I eat at home every meal, I'm okay - not great - but okay.  But it is IMPOSSIBLE to eat out on this diet, to eat with friends or even eat on the run.  There is no.such.thing. as fast food with this.

So in my desperation I remade one of my favourite chocolate cake recipes... into pumpkin nut muffins.  I know, not the most obvious of substitutions, but it WORKED, I LIKE it and it's (marginally) legal on this obnoxious diet  (yeah.  I'm on day 3.  Again.  For the 4th time.  Sigh.  It's going to be a LOOOONG two weeks!)  This small success made me feel like maybe I could rock this diet after all!

I fell in love with this cake recipe at a church potluck, because it was gluten free and, well, amazing.  Then I tried to make it at home, but I kept coming up with quinoa chunks in it.  Still good, but weird.  My husband swore he loved the chunks.  It was still hands down the best recipe I've had for GF cake, and I love that it doesn't use a dozen types of flour, so I actually asked for a new blender for Christmas (and broke my no-appliances-for-mom gift rule) just so I could rock this recipe.

It made no difference.  Still quinoa chunks.

Then I accidently learned the secret.  See, I'm an impatient baker.  I tried to do everything in the blender.  It doesn't work.  Then I tried doing it like the recipe said... only I could never wait long enough for the quinoa to "completely" cool.  And... I'm not overly fond of measuring, so I'd throw in scoops of quinoa.

Well, I had the genius idea to make tons of quinoa and freeze it in 2 cup batches, since I was making this cake so often.  (I'm the only GF baker in the family, so if there's a birthday, if our kids want to eat it, I'm the one making the cake.)  Suddenly I was using COLD quinoa, in exactly 2 cup measurements, and getting the smoothest tasting cake.

So.  Now you know.  Cool the quinoa - all the way.  Actually measure it.  And follow the recipe.  I know, rocket science right?  What can I say - I'm a genius.

Since I've discovered the secret I've been playing with this recipe in a hundred different ways - omit the cocoa and add extra GF flour and turn it into rhubarb cinnamon muffins.  Or how about blueberry?  I've tried chocolate raspberry and apple walnut.  Chocolate aside (because who can compete with that) this is by far my favourite so far and - YAHOO - it fits on the anti-candida diet, making it the ONLY breakfast I can keep in the freezer and just grab and go.  Definitely a winner.

SECRET INGREDIENT PUMPKIN NUT MUFFINS

2 cups cooked quinoa, cooled
1/3 cup milk (or milk substitute)
4 eggs
2 tsp pumpkin spice extract (this really makes the recipe.  You could probably use vanilla and 1 Tbsp pumpkin spice but the extract - found at Target - really is fabulous)
1/2 cup pumpkin puree (applesauce or sweet potato can be used as substitutes)
1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
3/4 cup xylitol (or sugar, if you're not on said CRAZY diet)
1 cup almond flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

1 cup walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 and line muffin tins.

Combine the milk, eggs and extract in blender or food processor.  Blend until just combined.

Add cooked quinoa, coconut oil and pumpkin puree.  Blend well until smooth (this takes a good 5 minutes in my blender).

In a large bowl, whisk together almond flour, xylitol, baking powder, baking soda and salt.  Add wet ingredients and mix well.  Add nuts.

Spoon into muffin tins.

Bake for 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted into a muffin comes out clean.

Makes 2 dozen moist, delicious muffins.

Asian Noodle Salad

I get asked for recipes a lot, mostly because of our allergy-friendly cooking and because I like to experiment so often have interesting foods.  The problem is, I can never easily share a recipe because I am so bad at following a recipe that even if I were to give them the recipe, it wouldn't taste a thing like the one I made.  So people ask for recipes, I demur and they never get them.

This wouldn't be a problem, except sometimes I want to remake my experiments and can't because I've forgotten what adaptations I've made!  So I'm trying something new: to post a recipe when I'm asked for one - as I made it, not as it was posted.  It'll be my online recipe book, and a lazy way I can send people recipes as requested.

Here's a delicious summer salad that we've easily adapted to our gluten-free, dairy-free (currently peanut-free and other annoying-free... but I won't go there) diet.  The original recipe (probably also delicious, though I can't say I would know) is from allrecipes.com and can be found here.

My favourite thing about this salad is how flexible it is.  The dressing makes everything taste good, so whatever leftover meat is in the fridge (and even that is optional), with whatever veggies I have on hand, I can add noodles & the dressing and it's guaranteed to taste great.  It's also perfect for a potluck when everyone else is bringing coleslaw and potato salad, it stands out and adds some variety to the plates.  Enjoy!

Asian Noodle Salad (also known as leftover salad around our house)

Dressing:  In a blender, blend:
1/3 cup smooth peanut or almond butter
1/4 cup GF soy sauce (we use Loblaw's no name brand, but VH brand is probably more widely available)
2 Tbsp rice vinegar (any vinegar works)
1 Tbsp brown sugar, or 1 packet stevia
1 Tbsp fresh ginger root, finely chopped
1/4 cup vegetable broth
(optional - 1 tsp asian garlic-chili sauce)
salt & pepper to taste.

Salad:
1 package rice noodles, softened in hot water for 5 minutes
1-3 cup cooked chicken, canned chicken or leftover steak, cut into strips
2 carrots, shredded
5 green onions, chopped
2 bell peppers, seeded & diced (different colours)
2 celery ribs, thinly sliced
2 cups sugar snap peas, chopped

Nightmares and children

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. (Proverbs 3:24)

I was recently drawn into a conversation about dealing with nightmares with children.  As a newly minted children's pastor, I guess I have extra special advice on these kinds of topics.

Well, I don't.

But I was a long time sufferer of nightmares, and I have a daughter who went through a rough period too.  So I do have some experience.

I did a quick run through of my favourite blogs and authors to read their advice.  It was either absent, alarmingly demon-oriented or equally alarming, absent of God.  But what if not all nightmares are created equal?  I can't ignore evil, as I've had that child dealing with panic attacks for no apparent reason that wouldn't go away until I got on my knees and prayed for her freedom.  But I've also got the child who just has nightmares once in a while, needs a nightlight and her favourite teddy to go to sleep and can't handle watching scary TV shows (which at her age, is almost all of them!) before bed.

In peace I will lie down and sleep,    for you alone, Lord,    make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8)

So here's my take on the issue:

1 - Children have very active imaginations, and the things they fear are not the same as ours.  Be wary of what they are filling their eyes and ears with throughout the day, but especially in the evenings.  Also be aware that what seems "safe" to you is scary to them.  I remember reading the Secret Garden before bed - a perfectly harmless, entertaining read - but I would go to bed terrified that my parents would die and leave me alone in a strange place as well, and had nightmares.  In my case, reading that book in the afternoon would probably have been fine.  It was the right-before-bed that created that problem.  Now, you can't avoid all things and it's important to talk issues like that out with your children if they are old enough.  (I know it sounds morbid, but knowing that my aunt and uncle would take care of me if my parents died made a big difference).  In these cases, simple things like a nightlight or a comfort toy are helpful. 

I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar (Psalm 101:3a)

2 - The opposite of filling your mind with scary things is not to just avoid TV or books, it's to fill your mind with beneficial things.  Memorizing Scripture (see the bottom for a post with a great list of Bible verses to help your child), doing devotions or praying before bed, listening to worship music as you sleep are all ways to fill your mind with good things.  While my attention is on Biblical truths (because they actually DO have power) sometimes even little questions like "what do you want to dream about tonight?" or "let's imagine what the most perfect vacation would be like" before bed can be helpful.

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8b)

3 - Attributing power to things without power is never a recipe for success.  If you want to giggle and play, pull out the monster spray and spray each other, but please don't ever use these to convince children that they are protected because of it (special blankies, dreamcatchers, stuffed animals all go into this category as well.  There's nothing wrong with play, and nothing wrong with comfort, but do not attribute them with power to save.)  Only God has that kind of power.

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.  He freed me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

4 - While I'm not convinced that all nightmares are from the devil, it's naive to say that evil has no role in our lives.  But because I am powerless in the face of evil, can't see it or even always recognize it, I turn to the One who can, and the One who has victory over darkness anyway: Jesus.  It is so important that parents pray for their children, whether about their sleep or their character, their protection or their hearts.  Pray, pray, pray!  Pray that He will protect your child, that He will guard her thoughts and dreams, and that through His life given for her, she would walk in his freedom.

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

5 - Empower your child.  She needs to know that it's not just YOUR prayers that chase away bad dreams, it's Jesus in her life, and she can pray, too.  She needs to remember when she wakes up scared that it's okay to crawl into bed with you, but singing Jesus loves me or saying her memory verse out loud is powerful too.  In the end, I want my daughter to have confidence that God is with her EVERYWHERE SHE GOES, so whether it's at home in bed, or if something happens at school or she's at a sleepover elsewhere, God is always with her, and it's HE who is mighty to save - not mom or dad.

But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. (Psalm 56:3)

Check out this post on Bible verses that may just make the difference: http://deeptruths.com/bible-topics/nightmares-bad-dreams.html

The Feminist in me

I just came back from a webinar in an intimate setting with a few of us children's pastors from across the city.

I've noticed that even though about 90% of the children's ministry leaders I've met are female (possibly more), 80% of the influencers in children's ministry (authors, speakers, go-to people) are male.  So I asked out loud - is that because the numbers are different in the states?  And the guy beside me says, no that's to encourage more males to step up.  You can't have female speakers if you want guys to get involved.

I can't remember what I said but it kind of marked me as the room's feminist.  And I didn't help matters any later when some sexist comment was made about why send a man to do a woman's job and I hooted.  

And I sat down later and thought - I've become what everyone else assumed I already was: a raging feminist.  And am I okay with that?

I'm only recently coming to terms with being a woman in leadership.  Most people would never guess that - I'm loud, comfortable on stage, have plenty to say and can't help but lead, even when I'm not trying, but I have long been uncomfortable in my own skin as a leader.  The church I grew up in does not believe in women in leadership.  We moved in my teens and our new church believed in woman in leadership, but had none actively serving.  They simply couldn't find willing women.  We settled into our current church, Riverwood, and after 5 years attendance, I was hired on as an assistant to the children's ministry director.  When she stepped down, it seemed obvious I would step up to take over her role.  But I couldn't.  I had already turned down literally dozens of roles in leadership and here I was faced with another.  I was ready to turn it down, too.  But instead I felt God asking me not to say no lightly: that it was time to dig in and stop asking everyone else what they thought of women in leadership, and start asking him.  So I pressed pause on my decision and took a few months to dig into theology books on women in leadership.  I read what the Bible had to say about women.  I read every story about every woman in the Bible.  I prayed a lot.  I asked a lot of questions.  

And you know where I came out?  Theologically convinced that God calls women into places of leadership in the business, political, home front and ministry worlds and has for ages.  If it's this hard for me to be a leader in 2015, just imagine what it would have felt like for Deborah.  Lydia.  Junia.  

And kind of ticked off that my issues with my own identity and the time I wasted in trying to suppress my gifts (instead of invest... ever heard of the parable of the talents?) because I COULD NOT BE WHAT I COULD NOT SEE.  The majority of the female role models I grew up with either believed it was a sin for them to lead, or believed it was fine for women in theory to lead, just not them personally, or were militant in their RIGHT to lead, and hated men for it.  

You can see why I just tried to suppress it.

So I'm thinking about this comment, how women shouldn't be on the platform because they scare the men away and I'm going crazy because of all the women - myself included - who are busy being SMALL lest we accidentally scare a man away and I'm SICK OF IT!  

So I became "that" feminist.

And truthfully, I don't want to be.  I want to honour men and lift up my brothers and celebrate those living out their God-given purpose (yes, even on stage in kid min!)  I don't want to hoot (even in fun) about women's superiority because I don't believe in it.  I believe we NEED men in children's ministry and we NEED women in preaching ministry and we've become less to segregate so fully.  I want to be that women role model I so desperately craved all these years: women living out their calling in fulness and authority and BEAUTIFUL (not defensive, evasive or stonewalling) because of it.  

So to those in that room last week... I'm sorry.  While I do want to stand tall as a woman in leadership, I don't want to do it at the expense of others.  And to my brother, who truly believes that men are scared away by women living out their calling: as much as I needed women living out their calling in Christ as my role models, so men today need role models showing them that power is not a finite resource to hold, but one that only continues to grow the more you give it away.  That seeing influential women does not diminish their influence, but highlights it.  That we are both image-bearers of God and having only half of that equation on display brings us back to Genesis where, for the only time in the creation account, God declared it "not good."  We need each other.  We are in this together.  Let us BOTH celebrate each other in this body of Christ!

GFDFEF Honey Oat Bread

GFDFEF... that looks like I let my 2-year old at the keyboard to write the post!  Well, I was GOING to call it Gluten Free Vegan Honey Oat Bread until I was informed that honey is NOT vegan.  Oops.  Whatev.  Even so, it's darn good bread AND my gluten free, dairy free, egg free family can eat it!

Now, it's not sandwich bread, doesn't do well as toast and is a little crumbly, but it is heavenly with (fake) melted butter beside a hearty bowl of soup on a cold spring day.  Trust me.

We first were served a GF only version of this at my parent's, and it was such a hit with my (definitely NOT GF) hubby that he immediately requested it the next day.  While we had no kitchen.  Because renovations had stalled... AGAIN.  So he got a sweet promise that once there was a kitchen to BAKE bread in, I would be happy to oblige.

We have half a kitchen, now, but with our newly introduced egg and dairy allergy, I was hungry for some hearty bread that didn't taste like cardboard, so I declared it "GOOD ENOUGH" and presented our family with a fresh loaf of this last night and a pot of ham and cabbage soup.  Mmmm.  delish!

This recipe was adapted from Yammies Gluten Freedom (and their recipe is great if you're just gluten free... but my mom adapted some to her health-conscious liking, and I adapted it more to my dairy & egg allergies... so we've strayed some from the original!)

4 cups gluten free oats
2 tablespoons yeast
1 1/2 cups warm water
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp honey
1/2 cup corn starch (or tapioca flour)
1/2 cup brown rice flour
4 tsp ground flax
1 tsp chia seeds
1 Tbsp psyllium husks
4 large egg substitutes
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Blend the oats in a food processor until they are fine.  Meanwhile, combine yeast and water and let sit for a few minutes.  Add the remaining ingredients to the food processor and beat until combined.  Pour into a well greased loaf pan, and let rise in a warm place for 45 minutes or until doubled.  Place in a preheated over (350) and bake for 1 hour.  Allow to cool slightly before cutting.  Cut into thick slices and smear generously with (fake) butter and homemade jam.  YUM!

Grieving

3 weeks ago my oldest daughter was diagnosed with a gluten & diary intolerance.  The first week was a whirlwind of "THANK YOU, GOD!" as miraculously, the symptoms that had been plaguing the 4-year-old for months, all but disappeared overnight. 

Then last week, my youngest went for a routine check up, and we were gently told "she has food allergies.  You need to get her checked out."  Although I was surprised at those words (we were there for a cough, not a stomach ache!) we were already walking this road with my firstborn, so it was no hardship to add one more to that gluten free, dairy free diet.

In a fit of solidarity, and somewhere deep inside possibly admitting that I was high-risk for gluten sensitivity, I joined the bandwagon of my two girls and decided to go gluten & dairy free for one month as well.  "Just to learn how to cook."

I am definitely dairy intolerant and possibly gluten intolerant as well.  I was not prepared for that.

So, in the space of 3 weeks, we have moved from a "normal" family, to one where gluten and dairy may never again have a place in our kitchen or our stomachs.

And I am not taking that well.

It was one thing to put my oldest on the diet.  She thrived.  She loved it.  She felt better immediately, enjoyed the attention and exclaimed over the foods I gave her.

The next one was harder: she doesn't get why she can't eat what the other kids do.  She's too young to stick up for herself.  Her results are slower in coming, so she doesn't have the immediate cause-effect link to realize her cold is a result of poison in her body.

And I am having the worst time of it.  I think the bread tastes like cardboard.  I'm spending way too much money on everything I can find that says "GF" to restock my now-banned pantry items.  I have a box of treasured recipes that I look at and realize I can never eat again, at least not in the same way.

I had a horrible day yesterday and decided to not bother with cooking, but grab some fast food on the way, and was hit by the reality that fast food is no longer as much of an option as it used to be.

My freezer is no longer stocked with last-minute meals that we can warm up.

My go-to dinners are taboo.

My comfort foods make us sick.

And while I have every support possible, we are living in an age where gluten-free is more and more common, and there are tons of food, blogs and recipes for me to glean from... I am still overwhelmed.

My sister-in-law is a lovely lady, and a naturopathic doctor, and although she's reserved in handing out advice to her family (one too many "witch doctor" comments from her unsupportive brother, perhaps?) she gave me words that I am clinging to right now.

It's normal, she said.  At first you're riding the adrenaline of feeling better and the diet is like medicine - so good for you that you love it.  But the newness wears off, and you find yourself navigating the substitutes you can use, learning how to cook again and the experimental phase of your food relationship where you have some wins and some losses.  You restock your home so that you can have your new "normal."  You are adjusting.  But eventually, you get to the point where the substitutions run out.  When it kicks in that this is forever.  Where the stuff in your pantry that you just shoved to the back have to go into the garbage can for good.  Where you find yourself at Starbucks and realize there is NOTHING you can eat.  Where you decline a dinner invitation because you know the food won't be safe.  Where you're on the road and instead of the smorgasboard, you are limited to the one GF option you don't like.  And it hurts.

And that, she says, is where it's important to grieve.  Yes, grieve.  As in you lost your best friend and she's never coming back.  Grieve your favourite food, the convenience of life before allergies, the social minefield of a new kind of eating.  Cry if you want.  Yell at something.  Get it out, and be okay with that.  Because it's all part of the healing process.

And once you move past the grief, you can find acceptance.  You find your place in community again.  You learn to navigate eating out on your diet , and you learn to make dinner parties potluck style so you can bring your own safe food to eat.  You do get past that, she tells me.  It takes time, just let yourself grieve.

So excuse me for a moment.  I am going to have a good cry while I pack up my recipe box.  I'm overwhelmed today, but one day soon I'll have a new box of favourite recipes that will bring healing to my family.